Source: Just Jared
Yes, you read that correctly. The recently married and divorced queen of E! and reality TV, Kim Kardashian, has just earned the title of “Smartest Woman in the World.”
Of course, I’m not talking IQ. I’m talking strategy, which is essentially just as valuable. Now, Kim is a lot of things — superficial, materialistic, dramatic, showy — but stupid is not one of them. Oh, sure, she’s probably not book smart in any way, shape or form; but when it comes to making a name, nay, a brand, nay, an empire for herself, she knows exactly what she’s doing. How else do you explain her rise from relative anonymity to a household name (whether we want to admit it or not)?
Well, let’s see. Other than her moderately famous ties (her father, Robert Kardashian, was an attorney on the defense for O.J. Simpson; and her step father, Bruce Jenner, was an Olympic gold medalist in the decathlon in 1976 — and then there’s her step brother, Bruce’s son, Brody Jenner, who was a regular on reality shows “Laguna Beach” and “The Hills” on MTV), Kim has no sensible claim to fame.
Kim simply started out as a socialite who roamed in the right circles. That was the key. Kim made the right connections and wore the right skin-tight dresses to get herself noticed, for nothing more than looking pretty and being rich. She began to hang with other socialites who were known for no real reason other than their lifestyles (remember Paris Hilton?), as well as low-level celebrities and athletes. The big-busted, big-bootied Armenian beauty eventually became a professional closet organizer and occasional stylist thanks to a few celebrity friends’ recommendations.
And then she met a boy named Ray J.
I think that was probably the turning point right there. Kim recorded a little bedroom fun with the singer, brother to singer/actress Brandi; and the tape leaked in 2007. Whether she meant for the romp to be publicly consumed media or not, this is the point that Kim began milking her fifteen minutes of fame into something a little more substantial.
Kim started popping up on red carpets and at swanky Hollywood parties, and her sisters joined in on the action. Eventually, her estrogen-powered brood, plus Bruce (no, Robert’s got some estrogen in him too), caught the eye of the press and the hearts of Barbie-wannabees everywhere and got their own reality show on E! The rest is history.
Kim now has a spin-off reality show with sister Kourtney; a boutique called Dash, which she owns with Kourtney and her other sister Khloe (all the K’s are just obnoxious) in Miami and New York; several fragrances; and a new clothing line at Sears. She’s also tried her hand at singing and acting, failing miserably at both, and showed the world that just because you have a big ass doesn’t mean you can shake it from her brief time on “Dancing with the Stars.”
But it wasn’t until Kim met another “K” that things took off to a new level. Kim met Kris (no, not her mom Kris Jenner) Humphries, a New Jersey Nets basketball player last year. Kim has had a thing for athletes in the past, as she dated football player Reggie Bush on and off for several years; but Kris was the first one to stick, at least for entertainment purposes. When the two met and began dating, Kim’s fame was at its peak. The only natural step would be to get married and whore the whole thing out for a profit, giving Kim the biggest boost her career could ever hope for — and the biggest rock her ring finger could withstand.
And that’s just what they did. The wedding was lavish, excessive and hyped to no end, with some arguing that it rivaled that of the royal wedding across the pond (I wouldn’t go that far. My mom didn’t wake up at 2 am to watch Kim and Kris get married). The pair had a two-night wedding special on E! and offers from every celebrity rag for the first pictures of the exclusive nuptials (and Kim’s THREE custom Vera Wang gowns).
And we thought that the Kardashian hype would kalm down for bit, at least until “Kourtney and Kim Take New York” began airing again a couple of months after the wedding special. But Kim got us again. Just when you think she’s waning in popularity, she jumps back at ya. This past Monday, Kim kept her name on America’s tongue by filing for divorce from Kris Humphries after a mere 72 days of “marriage,” just weeks after her double-hitter wedding special aired. And the Kardashian Kaos ensued.
If it’s possible, Kim’s divorce received more media attention than her wedding, probably just what she expected. What made it funnier worse was that, rumor has it, Kim didn’t even tell Kris; he found out from TMZ! You couldn’t plan a more dramatic departure if you tried. Oh wait, you could.
I have to say, Kim really outdid herself. With a great business and marketing mind (no doubt with lots of help from her “momager”), Kim has managed to ride out what should have been a short-lived bout of fame to become a full-fledged media darling (although with headlines reading, “Kim Kardashian and the Sanctity of Marriage,” being used to propel arguments on LGBT rights, the situation might take a huge turn).
Still don’t think Kim is the smartest woman in the world? Well let’s see you try to wedge your net worth up to $35 million using just two butt cheeks and a killer smokey eye.
P.S. I would like to note that, yes, I am a fan of Kim Kardashian for certain reasons (mostly fascination); but that doesn’t mean I can’t discern my superficial obsession with her from my desire to utterly rip her a new one.
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